we all carry a mother wound
I think for most of us, there is a part of us that feels disconnected, like we don't belong. And perhaps you have already grown out of that separateness, but for me it is still a bleeding wound.
My personal journey with mama cacao has been very insightful and transformational, and so if someone were to ask me what she healed, I would say she did not heal me, but she reminded me of where I actually come from. As a plant ally, she became a bridge back home, to my body and to the earth.
I also realised that although I have always spent so much time outdoors, there was still a felt gap between enjoying nature and actually being deeply connected with her. Not just going on regular hikes and hugging trees, but knowing her ancient ways. Understanding her flora and fauna, learning her language, facing the fear of her wildness, praying to and with her, stepping back into kinship with her.
And I wonder whether this is a wound we all carry, even if we are not consciously aware of it; a collective mother wound. A disconnection from the very thing we come from, the thing that has always been our home.
Our ancestors lived in a very different relationship with the earth. They knew the lands they inhabited and understood the seasons, the plants, the animals, the weather. They knew how to make a fire, how to find nourishment, how to survive outside without the comforts we have come to depend on.
And I don't want to romanticise all of it. There was also darkness, suffering, violence and hardship. Nor do I want to overlook the privileges we carry today, the comforts, possibilities that previous generations did not have. But I do think there is something worth looking at in how profoundly our relationship with the natural world has changed.
Most of us would probably struggle to survive a few days in the wild. We are afraid of being in the forest at night. We don't know which plants are edible, how to navigate the land or how to make a fire without a lighter. We have become strangers to the very environment that once was our only home. Even more telling is that we barely spend any time in it anymore. We might get outside for a walk, a hike or a little moment of fresh air each day, but how often are we actually living with the seasons? How often does our body get to move with the changing rhythms of the earth? We wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Our lives are increasingly detached from the cycles that once shaped our existence.
So instead, we fear her. We don't trust her. We take her for granted. We see her as something we are superior to and something we can extract from as it suits us, without asking for permission, without first offering a prayer (the least we can do).
I obviously don't think this disconnection happened by accident. There is a reason why we are conditioned to spend our whole life yearning for a house. Because houses are expensive, and we need to make money to deserve this house. And to make money quickly we need a well-paying job. We are taught stability means a regular influx of money. That we can only be safe when we can lean on that form of certainty. When we know we are growing towards a home.
We slowly but surely cut that cord, those roots, to our mother, our innate home. We seek validation and belonging in places that harm us, that make us feel even more depleted. We are taught that the end goal of life is the marriage, the house, the job, the reputation. We are taught that home is only found within that built house, but what if it's so much more than that? What if home is a feeling that can only grow once we are rooted within our universal home, our mother earth?
I believe that the systems we have built, and continue to build, often reinforce this separation. Patriarchy has taught us to distrust our intuition, our bodies, our cyclical nature and the wisdom we carry as women. Capitalism has taught us to measure our worth through productivity and output. And now, with AI and increasingly advanced technologies, we are moving further and further towards a world in which almost everything can be outsourced, automated and optimised.
I am not saying that technology itself is inherently bad, or that we should reject all the advancements we have made. But I do wonder what happens when we increasingly outsource the very things that make us human. When we no longer trust our own creativity, intuition, voice, our ability to create, to feel, to know. When we become so dependent on external systems that we forget the intelligence that already lives within us.
There is a reason we are so disconnected from our own power, and there is a reason we are rarely taught about the magic of life and the earth, or the superpowers our very own bodies carry.
I cannot recall how many times I have sat in ritual and cried over the past few months. I felt her grief moving through me. We are an extension of her, we hurt when she is hurting (even if you are not always aware of it). I am angry, I am sad, I am frustrated and often hopeless. How can so many humans live on this planet and not feel her? The very thing that keeps them alive and nourished every single day?
But hopelessness is a trap, and it is what they are inflicting on us so we feel we carry no power in our hands. And perhaps this is one of the greatest illusions we have been taught to believe: that we are powerless. That our actions are too small to matter. That the systems, governments, laws, technologies and people/men in power are so much bigger than us that there is nothing we can do.
But (surprise) we do have power. Especially as women, who have been conditioned for generations to question their own knowing and sovereignty.
We carry so much more power than we realise, and maybe reclaiming it doesn't have to look like some grand revolution. It can start with the smallest things. Learning the name of a tree, planting something, singing around a fire with other women, spending a night in the woord, learning which plants grow around us, choosing to protect a piece of land, teaching a child to recognise the birds singing outside their window.
These things might seem little, but they are not insignificant. Every act of remembering, every act of care, every choice to reconnect is part of something much bigger. And while there is so much pushing us further away from our roots, there is also a counter-movement happening. Women are returning to their bodies, to ritual, to the land, to ancient wisdom and to ways of living that honour the interconnectedness of all things. There is a longing that cannot be fully suppressed and a powerful remembering that something about the way we have been living isn't quite right.
When I think of my childhood I was constantly getting my hands dirty, exploring the earth's wonders and making friends with animals and plants. And then I was pushed into society and into a world that felt too harsh and dangerous for me. I adapted, but I grew disconnected every time I pushed down a desire, longing, resistance. Everybody was living this life, so I might as well do the same so I do not end up alone.
The trap is though that that disconnectedness makes us lonely. That adjusting to a society or place that we do not feel home merely to belong... makes us depressed. That doing the "dirty" work for others just to maintain a sense of stability and be validated by those systems and laws will suck the life out of us. We grow sick, we lose hope.
So how do we root back into her embrace? How do we return to where we come from? How do we live in a society that goes against all that is natural to us?
I obviously have no direct solution, nor am I doing everything right. But again, we do have the power. It starts with the ego death, with understanding how each and every one of us is conditioned. How perhaps we have spent so much of our lives trying to fill a void we don't even understand. Seeking validation through the male gaze, trying to be chosen, loved and desired. Trying to belong to certain groups, communities or social structures. Constantly adjusting ourselves to be accepted, to be seen, to feel like we are part of something.
But what if, underneath all of that, there is a much deeper longing? What if we have mistaken our longing for connection with a longing for external validation? What if the constant desire to be loved, chosen and accepted is, at least partly, an expression of a much older wound? The wound of having been disconnected from our original mother, from the earth, from our innate sense of belonging to life itself.
Perhaps we have been searching for a home in other people, in relationships, in communities and in systems that can never quite give us what we are longing for. Because that kind of belonging cannot be found through someone else's approval. It grows when we remember that we already belong. That we are part of something much bigger than ourselves.
So personally, I have decided for myself to learn the lands I live upon intimately. I have not had the privilege to learn about herbs and plants and trees as I grew up, but it is never too late. I want to devote myself fully to conservation, to protection, to guardianship. But also to rekindle that innate longing we all carry, that channel we have been cut off from. I want to spend as much time as possible outdoors. Face my fears and allow myself to be humbled. I want to be inspired and afraid, and do it anyways. I want to meet my fellow kinship that we share this earth with intimately. And I want to pass on that wisdom and that connection to those generations to come. I want to pray to her, speak to her, commune with her.
And maybe I am learning that it is not always about turning every longing into a project, a purpose or even a business. Sometimes it is simply about remembering.
Still this is something I carry into my philosophy around branding and creation. I believe that the more deeply rooted we are in the earth, in our bodies and in where we come from, the more authentic creations can flow through us.. because we are connected to our innate source (but that is a conversation for another day hehe).
For now, I want to leave you with a different question. What can you remember? What can you do for her? How can you begin to return to the home that has been holding you all along?
If you feel the longing to reconnect, I have also created a little introductory meditation to support you in finding your way back to mother earth. A gentle invitation to come home to your body, to the earth, and to the wisdom that has always been within you.
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