finding abundance in the lands of slovenia, and reuniting with the sea

Somehow it has become a ritual for me to write about my recent travels and the reflections and learnings it stirred within me. I guess over the past years since arriving in my current home (Austria), I tried pushing away that part of me that enjoys traveling so much. I had been living as a nomad three years prior to moving to Austria, and while I loved it a lot, it also really opened some deep-rooted wounds and fears within me. So after these three years of constant moving, and finally settling into a place, I felt extremely disregulated and out-of-place. I lived pretty sheltered, and focused a lot on staying comfortable and regulating my nervous system through stability, rest and safety. And now, after moving through these heavy emotions and the discomfort that naturally comes with it for the past 2–3 years, I am slowly welcoming in that part of myself again. I am learning that I do not need to choose either, that I am all. I feel as though often we desperately try to choose a part of ourselves and dismiss the other, in order to make our boundlessness more digestible, and feel some sense of belonging to a circle of people.

Anyway, I am sharing all of this, because travel has and will always play a big role in the way I live, create and learn. Yes, the way I travel has changed and evolved alongside me, but I am no longer suppressing her; the woman who gets excited when she wanders to new corners of the earth, the woman whose curiosity is renewed when meeting unfamiliar cultures, the woman who is once again reminded that there is still so much more to learn about the complexity of life, this planet and the species that walk upon it, and the woman who remembers that she is alive and loved. So for those of you who do read these little writings and reflections, I appreciate you. Thank you for tagging along on this journey we call life.

That being said, I’d like to share with you everything I carry within the depths of my being and my heart as I make my way back to Austria after spending the last three weeks exploring Slovenia and Croatia by van.

our shared intention for this adventure

The initial reason we planned to travel to Slovenia was that we had bought tickets to attend a festival there with our van, and since the van is quite old already, we wanted to make the most of the distance we’d travel and extend our itinerary. We were eager to explore the country in more depth and not just arrive for the festival itself. And also, since I’ve spent my whole life growing up by the sea but now live in a landlocked country, I missed the sea very much. I hadn't seen her vastness in a year hence we both agreed that we'd reunite with her during this trip. Slovenia and Croatia it is!

meeting the land of slovenia for the first time

We left at the end of July and had roughly five days before the start of the festival which was taking place in southern Slovenia right on the border to Croatia. We decided to spend this time mostly in the Trigl

av National Park around Soča Valley as we made our way down to the south. And oh my, I was enamored with the mountains and the valleys! Although it was busier than expected, it still didn't feel too commercialised. This was generally one thing we really liked about the country, that it felt like it was only slowly starting to accomodate tourism. It still felt pretty authentic and natural, a big plus for us.

I’d say that from the moment I set foot in these mountains, I felt a deep connection to the land. Even though the landscape where we live in Austria is incredibly green and equally breathtaking, it felt different. It felt almost primordial, as if I could truly sense the ancient presence of Mother Earth even more. Together, we explored the majority of the better-known parts of the Soča Valley by foot, hiking 20 km along the ice-cold Soča River under the blazing sun. We discovered the most pristine rivers, rock pools, waterfalls, and forests, and even dared to swim in the crystal clear water, which drops to as low as 10 degrees Celsius in summer (the coldest water I’ve ever swum in!!), though it was desperately needed during the extreme heat wave. Either way, it really made me feel even more held by this beautiful land and I'd do it all over again. This was, in fact, the most authentic welcome we could have imagined, and we were already certain that we would grow to love Slovenia even more.

opening up my heart wider to the teachings of the land and people

After a beautiful drive through hills and valleys, we arrived at the Guardians Festival, which is organised and held by Slovenians. It was by no means a party festival, but rather a “small(ish),” family-friendly, substance-free spiritual gathering featuring five days of workshops, concerts, circles, and rituals. Still, to be honest, attending such an event was both exciting and intimidating for me. As I mentioned earlier, I’d led a pretty sheltered and comfortable life in recent years and had become quite sensitive to crowds and stimuli. So, diving into an experience like this alongside three thousand other souls felt like quite a step outside my comfort zone! But I was willing to sacrifice my comfort and learn new ways of navigating these sort of situations.

After the festival, my boyfriend had asked me how I would summarise my experience into one word. At first, this was quite difficult for me as I don't even know quite yet how to summarise these five days into this written blog post. But after some integration and reflection, I circled back to one word that stuck with me – heart-opening (for him it was "rich" which is so beautiful!)

Spending these five days by the Kolpa River together with so many like-minded individuals who also long for that same sense of belonging and connectedness was incredibly inspiring and refreshing. Most of the attendees were locals from Slovenia, while the rest were a diverse mix from all over Europe, and some had even traveled from across the world. But I feel that precisely because the majority were from the country itself, there was a special sense of presence that I personally often miss at such gatherings. Sometimes these festivals or circles, at least in my opinion, can seem a bit spaced out and more conducive to substance abuse than to actually being present and clear-headed with oneself and the others around you. And although I sometimes love that otherworldly, dreamy quality, I always come back down to earth and would still describe myself as pretty grounded. Here, too, both can coexist freely if we allow them to. Keep in mind, too, that this was, of course, only a brief encounter with the Slovenian people and is therefore merely my personal first impression. From my experience, their presence felt grounding, down-to-earth, and rooted in tradition, and they certainly don't mince words (which, as a polite German, I had to get used to!). The ones I had the pleasure to meet and engage with remain deeply connected to the earth, and it was so inspiring to see how they care for it and, in return, reap its bounty. If I had to name the one thing I liked best about Slovenia, it would be the abundance of resources the country offers, but I’ll tell you more about that in a moment. Simply getting to know the energy and outlook on life of the Slovenes allowed me to better understand the country and feel that presence within my own body.

Throughout the festival I learnt about fermentation and how to sensualise eating, i learnt about channeling creativity and releasing the ego that blocks it, i learnt about shamanic drums and the lakota traditions and made my very own drum of recycle

d slovenian horse leather and pine wood. I learnt about building eco-communities and the challenges it brings forth. I also danced and sang so much. I joined a shamanic drumming sound journey, I danced my a** off to tribal dj sets, and I immersed myself fully in the live concerts by some of my favourite artists. I had the honour to sing with Ajeet once again, sing and dance with Sam Garrett, dance with Mose opened by the most beautiful cacao ceremony. This cacao ceremony was the very first opening act of the festival and I couldn't have imagined a more heart-opening one. Three-thousand people sharing the spirit of cacao in literal circles around the artists and space holders that guided us. It was then and there when my heart cracked open, on day one. I think the one thing that really touches me so deeply into my bones, where I cannot hold it together, is in these moments of oneness. I felt like I belonged, like we all did. Like we were all reunited and could forget the darkness, separation and war that is still happening on the other side of love. While being serenated by these angelic voices and feeling the medicine of cacao journey through every cell of my body, I observed. I watched the countless hearts around me melt open with mine. Everybody was immersed within their own indiviual experience yet we were still moving through a collective one together. Magic. Goosebumps. Definitely one of my favourite moments of this festival, and trip.

And then there was AWARË. I have no words how deeply immersive this experience was, and I think I am still processing today. It did not feel like a concert at all, but it felt as though we were journeying together through an experience for more than two hours. Dancing. Singing. Crying. Surrendering. Connecting. It was all there, and more. Hands down, the best live performance I have ever witnessed. Generally, it was so incredibely inspiring to witness creators and artists (we all are) sharing their medicine, and being deeply passionate about it. It showed me how a voice can change someone's life, and I am more than certain that I am not the only one of the thousands listeners coming out of it altered. So who made us believe that our voice can't do the same (whether it's through song, poetry, extensive writing, speech, space holding, you name it )?

So overall, yes, the entire festival experience was transformative… or, as I had put it: heart-opening. Not just an heart-opening to love and light, but also to the uncomfortable and the difficult. Letting go of the armor (even quite literally, I think it took 24 hours before we were all skinny dipping together, without shame or embarrassment). Allowing anything and everything. I immersed myself in the process, but I also treated myself to the grace, space, and time that I personally needed. Truly, I am still marinating in all that has surfaced and all that this experience inspired within me. There is still so much I'd love to share, but it would take up quite some more space on this post ... long story short: my boyfriend and I both agreed, this was not the last time we would attend this gathering ◡̈

an long-awaited reunion with the sea

As with every transformative and heart-opening experience, integration is necessary. We yearned for the sea to wash away all that we were ready to release and hold us as we integrated the past five days. And so we left the festival earlier than planned, and made our way down south, to the Adriatic sea in Croatia.

We had decided beforehand to head straight to the islands in the north to avoid the crowds as we were visiting the country in its most popular season hoping that it'll be at least a little quieter than the mainland. I am so relieved we listened to our intuition, because we were so lucky with the places we stayed at (secluded wild–camping spots and official campsites). Technically wild–camping is illegal in the country and everyone had warned us about it prior, but we were extremely lucky to have found beautiful spots all alone in nature. One of the spots really stuck with me as we were parked on top of the island's mountain and had a full panoramic view of the endless ocean around us. And what was even more special was that we stayed there during the solar eclipse and meteor shower. The island does not have any big cities and actually surprisingly is pretty rustic which means there was no light pollution whatsoever and so we had the clearest view of the starry night sky. I even counted six meteors, and saw the eclipse with my bare eyes while laying on our blanket huddled together with some candles. Romantic, yes!

The rest of the time we stayed at camping sites right on the ocean. I can't even put into words how amazing it felt the first time my body kissed the ocean, wow. I spent most of my time playing, laying and diving in those clear turquoise waters. One day, we even rented a little boat for just the two of us and explored secluded beaches along the island. And just when we thought the day couldn't get any better, we were visited by a pod of dolphins encircling our boot. And there was no other boats in sight, just us and the dolphins. A moment tucked in my heart forever.

Of course, I also introduced mama cacao to her and vice versa. Some mornings the sea was so gentle and calm, and other mornings we would wake up to the crashing waves and whistling winds. I could sense more clearly how her waters influenced mine, now knowing that I am not separate of nature and the tides of the ocean. When she was wild, I felt almost unsettled and stirred. When she was tranquil, I felt my inner waters calm down too. I recalled the bond that felt so familiar, even though we had been parted for so long.

We ended up staying a full week at the sea before returning to Slovenia, and so still had another week before making our way back home to Austria.

returning to slovenia, a bitter–sweet goodbye

Leaving the ocean was more difficult than I anticipated. I had known from the moment I had arrived there that the time I spent with her was limited, and therefore I had mentally prepared myself. But when the moment arrived I couldn't help but feel hollowness within my chest.

Yet, at the same time, I felt ecstatic about returning to Slovenia, the place that had awaken something deep within me and had inspired me in so many ways. I also longed for the mountains and the forests that had I had grown so fond of over the past couple of years living amidst the Austrian Alps. However, as soon as we reached our wild–camping spot around the Velika Planina area, my heartache had disappeared into thin air. We had found the most pristine spot on top of a hidden gorge where we spent the night. The next morning we woke up excited to start our day bright and early with a skinny dip in those ice–cold waters, shared some mama cacao and grounded ourselves with some local herb smudges cozied up on the moss-covered rocks. Oh yes, it felt good to be back!

finding abundance in slovenia

The rest of our trip through Slovenia heading north was just as breathtaking. We explored new areas by van, on foot, and by bike. And at the end of our trip, we decided to stay a total of three nights at a farm that was open to campers (which was quite a long time for us to stay in one place). The local owners of the campground (or rather farm) spoiled us with fresh produce and herbs that we picked in their garden, as well as homemade jams and cheese. Overall, as I briefly mentioned at the beginning of this post, Slovenia is so rich in fresh vegetables, fruits, and herbs that grow everywhere along the roadside and in their own plentiful properties. When we went on a longer bike ride through the area, I truly realised just how abundant the gardens and wild shrubs were. We even came across a private home where an elderly man offered us honey from his own bees. To me, all of this represents abundance and what it truly means to be rich. And also exactly what it means to live in harmony with the earth, tend to her and harvest her gifts. A give-and-take, a silent agreement. This is how I envision my future life, which is why this way of life felt very much in harmony with my heart. And while of course nothing is only rainbows and sunshine, we very much fell in love with this country and the experience, inspiration and richness we were gifted by it. I still feel so blessed. We then ended our journey with a ritual around a bonfire under the night sky, and let go of everything we wanted to leave behind. We offered it to the land as we poured out our hearts onto paper and watched the paper go up in flames.

further reflections post-trip

I feel like I have mixed in a lot of my reflections into my stories already, but I guess my biggest learning on this trip was that the way I travel has changed quite significantly. As I shared at the beginning of this post, I used to be quite a "fast" traveller, whereas now I enjoy it most when I move slow and intentional. Nowadays, I feel like I can finally fully surrender to the process of traveling and also allow myself to be guided by the wind and my own inner compass.

When we traveled to Argentina at the beginning of the year, we were offline for two whole weeks. No WhatsApp, no social media, nothing at all. And it was the most liberating feeling ever. Never before had I been so deeply immersed in a country and the entire experience surrounding it. I think that’s also something I’m taking away from this trip, because this time I wasn’t offline. It was the first time this year that I had planned to work while traveling. And I’ve once again realised that I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s different when you consciously plan a “workation” with the specific intention of working, but it’s become clear to me once again that I always want to go offline for at least part of the time I’m traveling. Going offline is so important and something I think we should all do more often. You can’t really hear yourself when you’re still connected to the outside world the way we are on social media. I always feel a distinct difference between how I feel when I’m online and how I feel after I’ve been offline for a while, because only then do we truly return to our own truth and our true selves.

Now, of course this doesn't mean I don't enjoy my work, but I simply flourish better when I have some form of structure and routine (my virgo–ness), like at home, for example, while traveling is a time for inspiration and rejuvenation. The two go hand in hand and are equally important.

Anyway, as I said, I still have a lot to share as I feel like I have only shared a tiny fraction of this trip, but I think I’ll just take home a heart full of love and gratitude; gratitude for being alive, for having the privilege to travel, and for living on such a bountiful planet. As always, this has deepened my connection to the Earth we walk upon and sparked my curiosity to know her even better. It has allowed me to shed more layers of my protective armor and relax in the embrace of love, nature, and the flow of life. Tears are welling up in my eyes right now, because this life is beautiful, and we often tend to believe that we can only experience this joy and vitality in such momentous occasions. I’m particularly sensitive to this, since “quality time” is one of my favorite love languages. While that's fun and all, the flipside means I tend to feel like I am missing out on life and wasting time when I am not doing exciting things. So since this trip, I’ve been particularly fascinated by the question of how can I cultivate this sense of peace and joy in my everyday life? By ritualising life even more and knowing that every single moment, whether painful or beautiful, is precious... And I hadn't mentioned this yet, but our van broke down on the first day of our trip, and the

thank you, thank you, thank you 〰

n again on the last on our way home to Austria. In between, though, it ran like a charm, despite being 40 years old! I guess I want to share this now because, of course, these adventures don’t always go smoothly, and there are always inconvenient circumstances that happen too. In the end, we had to

be towed on a mountain pass and had to extend our return trip by almost three days. And honestly, I feel like Josje’s (that’s the van’s name) breakdown was yet another reminder: How can we let everything that has moved us, as well as all the rituals and the inner peace, flow into moments we can’t control? How can we fully surrender to life’s unpredictable plan? I think I’ll leave it at that... Thanks for reading ◡̈